05
Rate My Professor. via
AMERICAN STUDIES WITH SNAGGLEJEW.
(via dreamngofrevelry)
“Problem 25. Kingsley Inc. bought a meteorite crater for 3.5 million… well that’s a good a business decision… What were they smoking? ‘Duuuude, we should totally buy a meteorite crater!’”
— Machande
“So I was hosting a New Year’s Eve party, and I was looking around for my bottle of Southern Comfort. I couldn’t find it so I began to ask around for it. At which point my brother came up to me with the empty bottle of So-Co and says ‘You mean this bottle?’ He then proceeded to get sick. It was a good party.”
— Machande (The Ultimate Superstar)
“So I was at my daughter’s soccer game, and instead of playing in the game, my daughter was standing by me and we were deciding where to eat for lunch. She wanted Qdoba, but I wanted 5 Guys. So in order to decide where to go, we played a game where the first person to say ‘no’ loses, and the other person decides where to go for lunch. So we started playing and my daughter said ‘no’ about 5 times in a row, because she says no alot. Then on the next round, I stopped paying attention and accidentally said ‘no’. My daughter then yelled out ‘DAD, YOU SAID THE N WORD!.’ Which then caused all the parents who were watching the game to turn around and look at me.”
— Machande (The Ultimate Superstar)
“This Saturday, I was in the car, my daughter was sitting behind me - in the minivan. Yeah, I was rocking the minivan, cruising. Then she asked me, ‘Dad, is it hard being a superstar?’ and I thought she was talking about me. It took me a moment to realize that she was talking about someone on the radio. (insert short pause) I didn’t know how to answer that. That’s something you should all ponder on.”
—
Machande
(because he’s a superstar)
(via rugbypopcorn)
(via limitedmoths, citypioneer)
(via citypioneer)
(via -meh-)
OMG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!
CHRIS PINE’S PENIS IS RATHER BIG.
